Tale of the Tape (The Indentation Apocalypse)

By Chris Clark, 07/01/2012, in Engineering management

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BRUCE "Emacs" BUFFER:: Now entering the Kill Ring in the blue trunks, with a reach of approximately three-quarters of an inch, hailing from the 9th spot in the ASCII table, it's TAAAABBBBBB!

BRUCE "Emacs" BUFFER: In the opposite corner, wearing white, you know him well, don't-call-him-32-he-prefers-hexidecimal-number-20...it's SPAAACCEEEEEE!

COMMENTATOR 1: Well folks, have we got a treat for you tonight! They're calling it the Indentation Apocalypse. These are two guys - they've fought before - and let me tell you - there is no love lost between these two.

COMMENTATOR 2: You said it. While these guys are ostensibly fighting for the title, you know their real focus is just on beating the other guy. This one's personal, and should be a heck of a fight.

C1: It almost blew up at the pre-fight conference. Tab got right in the face of Space, and accused Space of being semantically inferior.

C2: Oof, brutal stuff. But semantic arguments don't mean much in the ring.

REFEREE: (shouting, to be heard over the crowd): Let's have a good, clean fight, keep everything above the ΒΆ.

C2: And we're off!

C1: Listen to the crowd as Tab struts his stuff around the ring! He's looking great as he sizes up Space - he really worked on his configurability for this one. Such an innovator.

C2: You know, that's a good point. As a fighter, he's a real chameleon - you ask one fan, he'll tell you he's 3/4", but another will tell you he's a full 1.5". I guess that's a reason he's so popular with the crowd.

C1: Yeah, but Space is so consistent and OH! He lands four crisp jabs to Tab's left margin.

C2: Four jabs from Space is about as good as one big right from Tab.

C1: That's true, but Tab is so quick to recover after one of those colossal right hands, he just takes one smooth step back, and he's out of range. Space's footwork is a mess after those jabs - sometimes it seems like he's gotta take a step back for every punch he throws!

C2: I agree. The efficiency edge definitely goes to Tab. At a quarter of the weight as well, there's just no question.

C1: But year after year, space just delivers the same performance.

C2: And he's versatile - remember, he's had a lot of international success, and in some of smaller leagues, which have slightly different rules. His techniques really seem to work equally well everywhere.

C1: In contrast, I'm sure many fans remember Tab's embarrassing Olympic boxing trials. His inconsistencies really hurt him. The coach got so frustrated trying to train him alongside the other team members, he eventually had to kick him out of the program.

C2: Sometimes it's best to stick with the basics.

...rounds pass...

C1: Neither fighter has been able to land the punch they're looking for. The crowd's frustrated - they came here tonight to see a knockout.

C2: Am I glad I'm not a judge tonight. The scores are even on the cards. If it goes to a decision, it's going to come down to this last round. This crowd won't be happy whichever way it goes.

C1: Ringside is already buzzing with talks of a rematch. This fight may be almost over, but it's a rivalry for the ages, and we haven't seen the last of these two.

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